Full Circle Moments (at a real “Crossroads”)

Have you ever felt like life is simply loaded with full circle moments? I certainly feel this way right now. I met with a new friend, and fellow cancer survivor, over lunch Friday at my favorite restaurant/shop on the planet (yes, the Old English Tea Room in Wake Forest). This new friend (Twila’s her name) and I both spoke at the tea room back in June for Wake Forest’s monthly Art After Hours downtown event. And at lunch this Friday, Twila asked me to be the first guest speaker of the year at the cancer support group at her church, which is Crossroads Fellowship in North Raleigh. Well, let’s just say that I have quite a history with Crossroads.

This church is where I went on and off for corporate worship throughout my undergraduate career at Meredith College. This church is the church I commuted to after I graduated and officially began my teaching career in Wilson County back in the early nineties. This is the church that I took my first ever formal evangelism class (Evangelism Explosion) so that I could better communicate to others my faith in God. This is the church that I decided to join, the very first one I decided to join as an adult. This is the church where I met my husband, and I did so in a class called “Discovery,” which was for people who had made the decision to join Crossroads. This is the church whose senior pastor now was the singles pastor back in the day when my husband (before he was my husband) was the leader of a singles small group there; and this church’s pastor, Chuck’s his name, actually counseled us before we were married and then made the trek to the smaller, rural church I grew up in (Maple Springs in Franklin County) to perform the ceremony.

This church is also the last church I remember being at with both my mother and my father. It was over twenty years ago and, since the relationship between Jeff and me was getting more serious, we invited my parents to an Easter service at Crossroads, a Good Friday service. As we walked in that night, there was someone there with a basket in hand, a basket full of nails that were similar to the ones that Jesus would have had pounded into his flesh all those years ago when he was crucified on our behalf. We held those nails in our hands throughout the most solemn service that night. And then we made a much lighter memory afterward. As we were leaving the church, my dad looked at Jeff and me and said, “How about we go to ‘Your House’ for some supper?” Jeff, not knowing that “Your House” was actually a restaurant, looked horrified; and I believe he said something along the lines of, “I’m not sure that would work too well, Tommy.” Dad belly-laughed, and neither of us was sure if he was intentionally pulling my soon-to-be husband’s proverbial leg or if the miscommunication was an “honest” mistake (and if you knew my father, you’d know that the “honest” mistake option is the least likely one by far). Jeff and I still laugh about this sometimes.

Now, this church, all these years later, more than two decades later, is the church where I will be speaking to the first cancer support group to which I’ve ever spoken. It is also the host church of the community Bible study (CBS) that my daughter and I have attended in recent years. I took my little girl there to her home-school Bible class every week for the past two years; and I’ve even been given the privilege this year of serving there in a CBS leadership role. So, in the month of September, I will be returning to this church as a much older woman in a couple of much different capacities. Yes, God surely can redeem our lives in every single way. He has done it for me over and over again, and he continues on relentlessly.

This church is also the first and only church where I would study holy Scripture beside my dearest friend Jane, whom I eulogized back in early March of this year. When we first met, I had just returned from Johns Hopkins in Maryland for a second opinion regarding my treatment plan. One of the very first things Jane said to me was, “You need to get involved with CBS. Before you know it, you’re even going to be a leader in that group.” Jane had been a CBS leader before she was diagnosed with advanced stage ovarian cancer. I remember thinking she was crazy, especially since I wasn’t 100% convinced that I was even going to survive what I was going through. But, she was right (and crazy but in just the right kind of way). I did need CBS and so did my little girl. And I am a leader now–and all at Crossroads Fellowship. I don’t know what kind of access God gives those who have “changed their address” already, but I really do hope that somehow my dad and Jane can see all of the amazing things God has done for us down here since they’ve moved on up there. I know that they don’t need such encouragement though–only we do.

God is the great Redeemer. And that’s why we can never, ever afford to give up on him, no matter how bad things seem to be here. I’ve thought much of giving up–in college when I struggled with depression and an eating disorder, as a young adult when my father shot himself, as the mother of a young child when I was in acute kidney failure and diagnosed with blood cancer; and there are many, many other instances. I’ve even thought about giving up on life down here since I’ve been well. The darkness in this realm is relentless, but our God is even more so. We must keep our eyes on him. Even though I know I haven’t done this as much as I should have, he’s still showing himself; he’s continually connecting those divine dots from his high place in Heaven–and when he allows us to see a little of what he has done and is doing, well, it’s just mind-blowing.

One such example is the fact that Twila knew my friend Jane and met me for the first time at Jane’s Celebration of Life service. And then a different mutual friend that Twila and I have (Allison who owns the tea room) actually pulled us together for the tea room event; and if I’m not mistaken, Allison met Twila at Crossroads years ago (after I left). And Allison approached me months ago, unsolicited, and asked me to consider putting copies of my book in the tea room. Yes, as I’ve said to friends in the past, make no mistake about it, our God pulls his girls together. He does know, after all, how very much we need each other down here. Yes, because of this rainbow of beautiful women of God, I’m going to be at Crossroads again now. I scarce can take it in–me…..a women’s leader, a hope-giving speaker even? Yep, it’s a true story, one so great I could not even have made it up. Only God can do such things. Only God can pull a miracle, a string of countless miracles, from the heap of an absolute mess. Yes, only God. So, on September 11th from 6:30-8:00 pm, I will be proudly representing my God and his great works at a real “Crossroads.” And while the group I’ll be with is specifically for cancer patients and caregivers, my dear Twila who invited me said that the meeting is open to anyone who is in need of a little hope. And well, I believe that description pretty much covers all of us.