Though I very often yearn to never, ever remember that I went through a season with cancer, I receive occasional reminders of heavenly happenings that I’m just not sure would have come my way here through any other means. One such reminder came Friday via my dear friend and former chemo buddy, the Highway Padre (henceforth referred to as the HP). The HP consistently sends out his writing to a long list of people but every now and again he sends me, and only me, something that he feels like is meant especially for me; and I don’t think his timing has ever been more spot on than it was this Friday.
In fact, I had just said to a friend that I was starting to feel too much of a renewed kinship with Job when the HP sent me a devotional encouraging me to read the book of Job. And what’s most interesting to me is that my friend probably sent me that devotional because in the podcast of it the speaker talks about “I AM,” which is how the HP knows I refer to God throughout my sick season memoir. Yes, he and I surely do have an incredible “I AM” connection, one that we formed through the valley of cancer. But I think another reason I received that devotional was to prompt me to delve into the book of Job, and that’s big for me. I’ve been rather resistant to Bible study as of late and have found myself spending most of my quiet/reading time contemplating what other writers have to say about the Bible; but I believe there comes a point when we have to go back to it ourselves and take it in directly, even when we can’t seem to find a way to trust ourselves.
So, I did just that—and I read that “jolly” old book of Job in one morning, all 42 chapters; and I saw some things that had never jumped out at me before quite as much as they did Saturday (if at all). I saw that, according to the end of chapter 2, Job’s friends did not make arrangements to come to him during his first wave of suffering, during the period of time in which Job lost his servants and his livestock and then his house and all of his beloved children. They came only after Job himself became physically ill. This observation made me wonder if Job’s friends were initially giving Job time to process his loss or if it simply took a little while for the news of Job’s losses to travel to them. Then I began to wonder if the cumulative loss for Job is what moved them to go or if they thought it was somehow more tragic for Job to suffer in his own skin since external losses of animals, property and even children weren’t unusual back then.
Another thing that struck me from the end of chapter 2 is that Job’s friends showed up and sat down on the ground with Job in complete silence for 7 days and 7 nights because they saw that his suffering was so great. How often do any of us do that for one another—just sit in utter silence beside unspeakable suffering? In doing so, I think we acknowledge that there are some things here that our words are simply not going to make better. Too many of us are uncomfortable with suffering and even more so with silence. But sometimes silence speaks to us more profoundly than even the most eloquent monologue can.
In chapter 3, I noticed something else about Job that spoke volumes to my spirit. Job says that what he had feared, what he’d dreaded, had happened to him. So, this means that the righteous God-fearing/God-honoring Job whom God himself refers to as upright and blameless experienced both fear and dread in regard to losing the things on this earth that he cherished most. Though we’re told throughout the Bible that we don’t have to be fearful, it appears to be a relentless part of our human condition—even for those close to Almighty God. I found this fear/dread aspect of Job’s character to be liberating.
I found Job’s honesty toward his friends liberating too. He tells them in chapter 13, verse 5, “If only you would be altogether silent! For you, that would be wisdom.” In other words, discourse, at least amidst tremendous suffering, was not their strength/gifting. Yet, they couldn’t seem to conquer the urge to spout countless platitudes Job’s way. He goes on to tell them later (chapter 16) that he’s heard lots of similar things and that they’re “miserable comforters;” and he boldly asks if their long-winded speeches will ever end as well as what’s “ailing” them that keeps such an argumentative mood going—what’s making his “well” friends sicker than Job’s ever been.
You see, Job’s well even before he’s well because Job knows he needs to hear from God and not man. And Job asks God for two things (chapter 13). He asks for his torment to be lifted and for God to talk to him, or at least to respond to Job when he talks. I love it! Job asks for God’s voice, all the while asking his friends to silence theirs. “How long will you torment me and crush me with words?” (chapter 19). But Job’s not done with words altogether—he’s just done with their words, as he knows there is someone who is saying all the rights things to God for him. “Even now my witness is in heaven; my advocate is on high. My intercessor is my friend as my eyes pour out tears to God; on behalf of a man he pleads with God as one pleads for a friend.” (Chapter 16, verses 19-21). Who but our beloved Messiah is Job referring to! Yes, he knows where his ultimate friend is.
And God granted Job’s requests. The storms stopped, finally, and God spoke. More than once in Job we are told that the Lord spoke to Job out of the storm (chapters 38 and 40). And after Job prays for his fellow sojourners, his “friends,” God does something totally amazing for him. He restores Job’s fortunes, doubles them actually, and gives him the most beautiful daughters in the land—daughters to whom their father leaves an inheritance, along with their brothers. I love this because for women to receive anything in those days alongside of their male counterparts was a really, really big deal. Yes, I saw this weekend more clearly than I ever had before that the book of Job serves to shatter a lot of what we know to be true about suffering and about godly people and ultimately about God.
The necessity of my weekend with Job was confirmed again when, about the same time I got the HP’s email encouraging me to read Job, I got a note from a woman who’d asked me to speak to her MOPS group several years ago. It seems that another woman connected with the group I spoke to is now dealing with the same form of cancer I had; and the woman who’d invited me to speak contacted me to ask me how to best minister to her. These two women were very much on my heart and mind as I pondered Job. And well, as I thought hard about what I wanted and needed years ago when I became ill, I thought about how Job didn’t summon his friends to show up, and they didn’t wait for him to ask them to; and yes, they said lots of wrong things, but they did come—and that’s something.
So, my best advice to anyone would be to show up and sit on your friend’s “ground” in silence, and then choose to actively listen if your friend chooses to talk. And realize it might be best to not try to muster up some clever response to a situation that God only knows. And when you do leave their side, try to talk to God on their behalf and pray they would talk to him and hear back from him in some way. And never be afraid to pray their storm will stop—I don’t believe we have to mindlessly accept our proverbial “lot.” I don’t believe we’re failing to trust God and his ways when we ask for complete healing for ourselves and for others on this side of Heaven. We are told to ask our Father for good things—Job certainly did that and so can we.
Yes, I was meant to become friends with the Highway Padre and I was meant to read the book of Job this weekend. And I thank God for the special friends/connections that he sends our way in those valleys we never would’ve chosen for ourselves. It seems that in our valleys we do receive the clearest picture of God.
Dr. Foss, Thank you for this lovely and interesting read, with a very informative perspective on our friend, Job. I must say that I am in total agreement with being proactive in the life of anyone that we know who might be suffering in any way. We should pray for them, visit with them, share food, drink and conversation with them whenever possible. It is amazing how simple conversation and prayer can bring great change, both mentally and physically in challenged lives. God really does work through His Own to bring about change in the lives of others.
Thank you, Kay, for reading this post as well as for taking the time to write to me about it! As you’ve heard me say often, I love hearing your thoughts on anything that I share. And as usual, I think you’re so right when you say that God can and does use our simple conversation and prayer to bring about remarkable change in both us and others.
Dr. Foss,
Please post more frequently as your posts are always so inspiring and “real”!
Thank you very much, Kay! I have been posting much less frequently as I have been finishing, finally, a book that I started back in 2007. This book should be available within the next month or two, maybe even sooner. And I hope that when it is complete you will say the same thing again. I hope you will say that it is inspiring and “real.”